My twenties have been a long but memorable journey and a ten-year quest to find my purpose. I’ve found love, happiness, and purpose. My Twenties taught me never to give up no matter what life throws at me, and that perseverance is key.
Most people, mostly us women, dread leaving our twenties, but that’s not the case with me, at least not anymore. When I turned 20, I dreaded my 30th birthday, but this time around, I could not wait. Don’t get me wrong; I still can’t believe that by the time this blog post goes up, I will be 30 years old.
I’ve faced a few stumbling blocks in my life that I’ve since turned into stepping stones, they were bumps and victories. I must say the last three years, I feel like I have become closer to the person I really am, and it feels so good.
I initially had another idea of the type of blog post I was going to do to commemorate this milestone, but I didn’t write it down so that plan is nonexistent, am the only one whose creativity and ideas come when you’re in the shower or not in a position to write it down?!
I’ve learned a lot of lessons throughout my twenties, some I’ve learned the hard way. I’m sharing with you what I learned in my twenties:
Take Mental Health Seriously
As I grew older and somewhat wiser, I learned how to take my mental health seriously. I have spent the last couple of years of my twenties working on my mental health. I feel like a different person. The person I am today is entirely different than when I started my twenties. I was always so focused on failing (failing forward that it took a toll on my mental health. I’ve sought and will continue to get help as it relates to my mental health. We talk about being physically healthy, and we’re quick to make a doctor’s appointment to make sure everything is functioning right in our bodies. We go to the gym to make sure we’re toned and fit. For some reason, we neglect our mental health, which is apart of our health and is just as important as the other areas. Another way I try to improve my mental health is to meditate and journal, check out my blog post on how to journal. I’m also mindful of the people I keep in my life; I’m all about energy these days. If your energy is not in alignment with mine, then I’m sending you to the left ( I can have another you in a minute).
I learned that not every friendship will last and that it is okay to evolve and move on from certain friendships, especially if they no longer aligned with my core values. Some people just aren’t good for you even when you want them to be. Beware of people like that.
It’s okay to grow apart from some people, even those you’ve known for most of your life. Life goes on, and some people just don’t deserve to be in that chapter of your life. As the saying goes, “Some people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime,” it is up to you to figure out which friends fit into which category.
DON’T STAY IN AN UNHAPPY, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
If your relationship seems to be falling apart, do something about it. FAST. When you’re young, you think that your first love is the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with, while this is the case for some, it is not like that for most people. Sometimes you have to kiss many frogs before finding your prince charming.
It’s Okay To Say No
I can’t keep living to please others. I’ve had to learn this the hard way on numerous occasions. I am still learning to put myself first and do what’s best for me. However, I no longer feel bad when I say no, the reality is some times you just don’t have the capacity to deal with certain things and people. Don’t apologize for putting yourself first. The other day, someone I haven’t spoken to in a long time hit me up, and without even fake caring and asking me if I was okay, they began to dump their problems to me. I’m still a softie and don’t like to see or hear people being hurt that I found myself trying to find a solution and was about to respond instantly. I had to check myself very quickly! I didn’t have the mental capacity or the time to deal that; I turned my phone over and continued to do what I was doing. I eventually got back to the person, but I did so in my timing. You may say what if it was an emergency well; they’ve survived the other times when they didn’t talk to me. Because of what the situation was, they knew I’d be best to help, Nah keep that same energy! Be more appreciative of the people in your life, the ones who genuinely love and care about you.
Age Has No Limit On When You Can Achieve Your Goals
It’s okay to follow your dreams even though others may not support; once you believe in yourself, that’s all that matters. I have big plans for my life, and the ultimate goal is to be successful at what I do. From my experience, the journey to accomplishing even one goal will be met with stumbling blocks. Everyone’s idea of success is different; it’s important you know this.
For example, I had this grand plan that I was going to have my master’s degree by 30, and I was going to be married by 23 and have children by age 25. Here I am, I just completed my Bachelor’s degree and currently working towards getting my masters. I put so much pressure on myself to achieve specific goals. Now, looking back, I just needed to set realistic goals for myself and not put that kind of pressure on myself. Now I’m walking towards my purpose and feel so much at peace, knowing I can achieve anything I put my mind to no matter how old I am. The journey to my ultimate goal may not be the same as others, but everyone’s path is different. I may take an alternate route to achieve my goals, but best believe I’ll get there.
Spirituality and Wellness are Important
Manifestation, meditation, and journaling have made me become more in tune with myself. I’ve always been a “church girl,” but in the latter part of my twenties, I’ve been intentional about growing in my faith. My classmate Lenure did a presentation the other day on Spirituality and wellness. She spoke about How to P.R.A.Y, and in her presentation, the acronym P.R.A.Y meant to practice, rest, ask and yield, and that resonated with me. I’ve made mistakes on my to Spirituality journey, but you can make mistakes and know that you still have room to grow. Your spiritual health is just as important as your mental and physical. I journal a lot, and I’m big on manifestation, if you want to know how to start journaling, I wrote a blog post about it, check it out here
Get To Know Thyself
I am done apologizing for who I am. I feel like I know who I am, and it’s okay that it doesn’t fit some particular mold. I think my early twenties, I spent most of my time trying to meet a specific standard and seeking acceptance from others. That prevented me from living my true authentic self. Which contributed to me doing things I had no business doing.
There is a certain sense of self that one acquires through their twenties. I’ve tried things, I’ve failed at things, I’ve forced myself to like things. But now I’m also giving myself permission not to like something and to prefer something else and not feel bad. The people in my life love me for me. Being in tune, at peace, and genuinely loving yourself is important. Happiness comes from within, and no one should have control over that a tough lesson I had to learn and is still a work in progress.
A skincare regimen is important
I posted some photos for my birthday on my Instagram, and everyone kept telling me I do not look 30, now this made my head swell cause I’m trying to look as youthful as I can lol. I developed a skincare routine that I’m consistent with (since quarantine I’ve gotten lazy, but I still do the minimum. I think part of the reason I look young is genetics; the other is being consistent and using products that work well with your skin.
How To Be An Adult
I’ve learned to live by myself, and to enjoy my own company, make my own doctor’s appointments, pay bills. I also learned to perfect three easy to fix recipe. I think this is something everyone should do. I learned how to be more responsible and make better life choices.
Be Financially Smart
Whew! Let me repeat this again, BE FINANCIALLY SMART! I can’t tell you how many mistakes I made with money. If I made better decisions, I would be in a much better position financially. My parents are smart with money, especially my father. I have four siblings, and they ALL are good at money management, but somehow, that gene seemed to have missed me lol. After many sitdowns with my parents, I’m now on the right track to financial stability. I have a long way to go, but I’m more intentional with how I spend. One piece of advice, Be sure to have a bank account and try to save whatever amount you can every paycheck, five dollars every paycheck will go a long way. Spend smart!
Trust Your Gut
You know that deep feeling in the pit of your stomach where you know that something isn’t quite right? Let me tell you 99.99% of the time whatever your gut is telling you will be right. Be open to listening to your conscience.
Learn Your Love Language
This was something I learned. Only you can know how you want to be loved by friends, family, and your partner. If you’re not sure what your love language is, take the Five love language quiz online, Thank me later. My relationship got much better once we figured out each other’s love language.
Don’t Let Social Media Control Your Life
Don’t let Facebook or Instagram friends allow you to question your own life, goals, and accomplishments. I had to decide not to get caught up with what I see on social media. I caught myself comparing myself to others, and I was heading down a dark path and had to gather myself quickly. Social media can be discouraging, but the sooner you realize that everyone’s journey is not the same and not meant to be the same. I had to stop doing that and focused on developing myself—the best decision I ever made.
What I’m Looking Forward To
I’m in a much different and much healthier place than I was ten years ago. I’ve spent my twenties exploring, failing, and also learning. I’m glad I experienced that, and I know I will continue to explore, fail, and learn. But there is something about that decade that was memorable. I moved to a new country at 19, just shy of my 20th birthday. I moved to a new state. I graduated from college at the top of my class, met my boyfriend, got featured in Quizlet impact report, and traveled to the motherland for the first time. I started my blog that has allowed me to meet people from all walks of life. Thank you guys for rocking with me three years later.
I’m looking forward to ditching my bad habits and finding success and learning through failure. I’m looking forward to growing my blog and platform and starting my nonprofit organization. I’m looking forward to moving to Africa (more on this soon).
If you’re in your twenties or even early thirties, these are some things you can try to implement into your life as part of your self-development journey.
Learning and growing are all apart of life. Keep learning and growing; you’ll be amazed by how much you don’t know. Remember, no one is perfect, you’ll make mistakes, and that’s alright (perfection is overrated).
I’m thrilled to have made another trip around the Sun, I’m excited for what’s in store this decade.